After hours Toolkit

What not to eat (over your keyboard)

Becky Roberts Tech Republic

Published: 14 Mar 2006 16:20 GMT

...a chocolate bar made from an extremely thin flake of chocolate that's folded back on itself numerous times. To fully appreciate the flavour-enhancing effect of the unusual texture, this delicacy must be experienced at least 20 or 30 times a month.

Eating a Flake over a keyboard is an extremely hazardous operation, usually detrimental to one's enjoyment of the experience. It is a scientific fact that it is impossible to bite a Flake without causing a minor chocolate meteorite shower. Although the pieces of chocolate don't interfere with typing or cause any unusual keyboard noises, Flakes still qualify as one of the worst keyboard foods because losing so much of this delicious chocolate is simply tragic. Flakes should be eaten only while lying on one's back, over a paper towel to catch and recycle the crumbs, or in a large bowl of vanilla ice cream. If you must eat a Flake at your keyboard, which is quite understandable, try substituting its less volatile cousin, Ripple — a chocolate-covered Flake. Yep, chocolate-covered chocolate; life doesn't get much better than this.

Keyboard cleaning tips

Compressed air is your friend — brilliant for removing dry particles from the keyboard. Have a dog handy to eat the crumbs as they are blasted into space.
Alternatively, use a vacuum cleaner to achieve the same result, but make sure your keys are firmly attached. It's just no fun digging through a bag of grot searching for the missing keys.
As strange as this may sound, some people advocate the use of the dishwasher for thorough keyboard cleaning. I haven't tried it, but you can check out this link for detailed information on how to perform this intricate operation.
Grubby keys can be cleaned with screen wipes. Be sure to power off the computer first (pressing a key repeatedly as you clean could have some undesired results). Individual keys can be removed and scrubbed with hot, soapy water for a more thorough cleaning.
For dirty or dusty environments, it may be worth investing in keyboard covers, although these do tend to make typing a less pleasant experience.
Buy a new keyboard — seriously, they are not that expensive. As a courtesy to new employees, I always wipe down their monitors and supply them with brand new shiny mice and keyboards. There is nothing more unpleasant than wondering precisely what that is poking out between the T and Y keys.

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