After hours Toolkit

What not to eat (over your keyboard)

Becky Roberts Tech Republic

Published: 14 Mar 2006 16:20 GMT

We all do it, even though we know we probably shouldn't. Whether it's merely snacking to help pass the time or voraciously devouring lunch while trying to restore the chief executive's files we inadvertently deleted, we all eat at our keyboard. On any given day, my keyboard is assaulted with fragments of Hershey's Kisses, drops of coffee, blobs of spaghetti sauce, and those long, stringy things that fall off bananas.

During a recent keyboard degunking attempt, I found myself musing on what would constitute the absolute worst foods to eat while typing. In making this determination, three factors have to be considered:

The propensity of the food to fall
The likelihood of the food becoming attached to or inserted into the keyboard
The degree of difficulty associated with the removal process

With these factors in mind, here are my worst-food nominations.

Plain whole grain rice. It falls easily and it's likely to end up inside the keyboard, but removing it is relatively easy to accomplish if it is allowed to thoroughly dry before the attempt is made.

Angel hair pasta. Although not likely to fall, angel hair pasta exhibits a distinct proclivity for trailing. If the trailing strand of pasta should happen to be coated with a sticky sauce, it is likely to adhere to the keys, or even descend between them. Removal from keys is not challenging unless the pasta disappears completely from sight. If that occurs, removal is almost impossible. If an end is protruding, grasp it firmly between forefinger and thumb and gently extract. This process may have the added benefit of picking up other small fragments which have fortuitously adhered to the sticky pasta.

Sunflower seeds with shells. It is impossible to eat more than 12 sunflower seeds without losing at least one shell fragment somewhere under the space bar, although this does somewhat depend upon the seed-shucking method employed. Once in the keyboard, sunflower seeds are notoriously difficult to remove, as inverting the keyboard usually does little more than relocate the offending fragments from the base of the keyboard to the cavity inside a key.

Rice Krispies (with or without milk). Dry Rice Krispies go everywhere. One slight puff of air and they are in your hair, on your desk, and infiltrating the nether regions of your keyboard. Removing them is relatively simple, however; type vigorously for a few minutes to reduce them to Rice Krispies dust and then apply suction. Wet Rice Krispies are more stable but more difficult to extract. Even when the sodden Krispies have dried out, they tend to resist extraction by holding fast to your keyboard's innards. Rice Krispies treats are a safer alternative.

Jelly. Jelly is inherently unstable and apt to become separated from its means of transportation. Once blobbed on a keyboard, jelly has a tendency to stick to the keys and slide between them, particularly if the maker of the jelly was a little overgenerous with the water. Removing jelly is a sticky, nasty business frequently resulting in keys that never quite rebound as they once did. Sugar-free Jell-O made with approximately two-thirds of the recommended water is more likely to bounce than stick.

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