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Ruperts Weekly Roundup (13/03/2000)

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Rupert Goodwins AnchorDesk

Published: 14 Mar 2000 16:29 GMT

MONDAY

Irresistible farce meets immovable project
I know, I know, I know. Another BT in force of evil shock story. But just when you think you can't possibly write another word on how Brutish Telecom keep missing the plot completely, it turns around and does something so unbelievably crass that the temptation becomes unbearable. And when they do it twice in swift succession... well!

First off, a bit of background. The Government is flogging off some new radio frequencies in an auction. This is for the third generation cellphone systems that'll pop up in two to three years, and there are five licences up for grabs - and if you thought a ton was a bit steep for your telly, these beauts are probably going to cost around £100 million each. Still, that's not too much to get your finger in that particular pie and thirteen companies have dutifully lined up to bid - including all four UK cellphone operators, BT Cellnet, Vodafone, one2one and Orange. This is all in order to get broadband wireless to the multitudes - a sort of airborne ADSL, if you like.

Guess what. BT has made noises that it may consider legal action to get the auction stopped. Why? Well, Vodafone bought Mannesmann and Mannesmann own Orange, so clearly Orange and Voda are going to get together and Be Nasty to BT. The fact that Orange is being flogged off in order to allow the Mannesmann sale in the first place cuts no ice with BT - not that it'll do anything to hold the market back in the UK to allow it to make obscene profits for as long as possible, oh no.

Now number two. BT has told Oftel that it wants another delay to the ADSL roll-out, this time taking us up to nearly July. And why? Because BT's had trouble finding enough triallists, and because it hasn't got the customer support and technical bods ready. Balderdash. Triallists have been beating down BT's doors begging to be let in. And the trial's been going for so long now the only reason BT can't be ready to go is that it hasn't had any intention of launching the service, despite what it's been saying. Not that it'll do anything to hold the market back in the UK to allow it to make obscene profits for as long as possible, oh no.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again: we should march on BT HQ with flaming torches and pitchforks, and not let up until the board's been dragged through the streets on the back of a haycart. Take me there...

Goodbye, Mr Chips?
It's not true that the establishment is dumbing down the educational system. Especially not in the States. Which is why only the finest intellectual traditions are being followed in the introduction of university courses in video gaming.

It's so easy to be snobbish. But isn't it true that said games are one of the most vital, exciting and engaging efflorescences of our culture? There is true magic there, a complex yet accessible melange of desire, action, narrative; a fusion of the plastic and descriptive arts, a creation of alternative modes of thoughts and perception - who could ask for more from the human spirit? And by examining the nature of consciousness when immersed in these artificial universes, who knows what new insights into the very nature of being might be unveiled?

Plus, it's a great way to excuse a good five-hour Quake session. Take me there...

Internet share sums don't add up
If you want any indication of how Internet share prices are seemingly priced in a currency entirely unrelated to yer actual cash, just look at 3Com. It owns 90% of Palm, which has had a stonker of an IPO and is now worth more than several small Eastern European states. If that 90% was priced accordingly, 3Com's shares would be worth $170. Instead, they're worth around $82 - if you subtract the Palm component, you end up with 3Com being worth minus several billion dollars. It's true that the company hasn't been having the best of years so far, but this seems a trifle harsh.

The same happens over here. Dixons, which owns the majority shareholding in Freeserve and makes a huge multiple of its subsidiary's turnover, is worth considerably less on the stock market.

What does this mean? You know. I know. The question is, when will the market decide to admit the fact and make dotcom dollars equal real dollars? Take me there...

Getting Cirrus about piracy
Cirrus Logic make audio chips for sound cards. It's come up with a new one, called Maverick, that has built-in security - if you try and play a file that should be paid for but hasn't, it won't let you.

Will this stop piracy? Or will it inspire the sale of sound cards without the Maverick chip in?

Your guess is as good as mine... Take me there...