Jammed with Spam

Guy Kewney AnchorDesk

Published: 17 Nov 1999 17:08 GMT

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Apparently, it isn't obvious to everybody yet. But over the next year, I think the Web will start closing down. I think email will start becoming restrictive; and I think the days of "all information is on the Web" will turn, quite quickly, into "Here is a way of hiding from all that information" for most of us.

Here's an example of this week's email. Just one, but I think it proves a point:

ALL THE LOOKS AND STYLES AT YOUR FINGERTIPS WITH CHARLES WORTHINGTON, BRITISH HAIRDRESSER OF THE YEAR
Jodie Kidd is one of the most recognisable faces of British and World fashion today. With her cut glass cheekbones, fabulous full lips and legs that go on and on, she's one of the top models of this Millennium and the next.

Life Software have created a complete style package where you can change Jodie's hair colour, hair style, hair length, her eye colour, eye shadow, blusher and lipstick as well as hats and glasses onscreen. She explains that " working on this project was so interesting as it gave me the chance to present myself in different ways. It just shows you how hair can change your whole image. Plus Charles gave me my new look".

Priced at £29.99 inc. VAT, the Jodie Kidd Makeover is available from all good software stores, from Boots, WH Smith and Selfridges, or by contacting Life Software on 0208 875 4444.

Note a few important points, please.

First, believe me when I assure you that I personally have no idea who Jodie is, no interest in her hair, and no expertise in fashion, hairdressing, or modeling trades whatever. Yet this email was targeted at me! Next, note that this isn't publicity for some lifestyle Web portal. It's a product announcement. It was sent to me in the bizarre expectation that I'd write about it, in a computer column in a magazine. (Well, yes, I am writing about it, but I doubt this is what they had in mind!)

I have an email address, which is published in PC Mag each month. People send me stuff which they think I'll be interested in. It is, literally, more than I could possibly hope to read in a month, and it arrives daily. And much of that is summary email: "Here are our top twenty stories for the day, Guy!" with at least twenty hotlinks, many of which (to be fair) are indeed of interest.

But I also have a number of other email addresses. I wrote about MSN, and to do that, I needed an MSN account - which I still have. That mailbox is 99% offers of Viagra, pyramid marketing schemes which I've "qualified" for, lists of sites showing mammals demonstrating their mammary attributes (usually for money) and offers of email mailing lists if I want to sell something. It's virtually unuseable. And the only reason my office email isn't equally jammed with spam, is that the office now filters known spam sources very aggressively.

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